whatthefan!

Ouh man! Iskandar was just so right. Maybe I've been ignored him few times before. Wait! I did not! I wasn't purposely ignored him but like what he said, "Nia, your 'few minutes' really means few days huh". Yeah I still remember, he texted me during my class and I replied "having class right now and will talk to you later." Ended up, only after 10days to be precise, i texted him. -__-" Thankyou Allah, as a friend, my apology was being accepted. :D It was the same thing that happened recently. *xpayah nak recently sangat lah* it was just last night. Read my last post about writing a whole load of a story in my next entry after giving me few minutes to clear up my mind? Err yea i guess only now I feel relieved and in  better state of mind. Pheww. I just don't know why. To say that I had my beauty sleep last night, you're wrong. I only slept for 4 hours after I danced out my feelings. Trust me. When you was a dancer and still to this moment of your life, you still enjoy dancing, you'll express whatever you feel by doing few routines. Yes I felt some kind like being recharged and wished to dance all night long but still I need to sleep! Alright. I'm getting ready for my classes for today. Perhaps, I'll just tell you guys what happened to me for few months before yesterday in my next entry. Have a nice day, readers! :)

too

Assalamualaikum wbt.

For how many months i've dissapeared again, huh? Okay okay I'm sorry but it was difficult for me to update without this notebook with me. Get it? Alright. Why i chose 'too' as the title for this time? Because too many unexpected things happened till frankly saying i don't really know how to put them into words. Don't dream of me writing 'em down into some kind of weird rhymes huh. Writing 'em down in a simple word? Still i couldn't afford it. Ugh! Yes i had a bad day today and till this moment of time, i can't curve out a smile on my face. I think too much i guess so. Why not i postponed this scribbling process to my next post? Just gimme a few minutes to relax my mind into a better condition yeaa. 

# Till then

new update! new update!

assalamualaikum :)

only now i feel like writing again. haha. it was a stressful day i guess. and that made me feel like onlining and write and scribble and scribble and write ^^,well, i've been working at a new place. new job! -quite-a-stressing-job to say so. *at times. but seriously, i'm facing loads of problems and the job is really challenging*. duhh. -__- i'm telling you this so that you can stop having the thinking conception that a front desk job is so a-tiny-miny lame job! grr. haha *at least i'm no longer a promoter* yipee! *up sikit* haha. i know. to compare my job right now with my friends, classmates, schoolmates is way too berbeza. haha. *rojak sikit eh*. who i am compare to them all :) it's ok. i take it positively and i know i'll make my dream comes true one day. maybe.. next year? amin :D 

so yeah! byebye kitschen, hello thai odyssey! :) so, peeps! come over to this massage spa yaww! i'll be there to serve you *not as a masseur/massage lady but as a frontdesk ok* i guarantee you will have the satisfaction as in your body will be more energized and relax-no-stress :D i'm at the sunway giza mall outlet in kota damansara *don't forget to drop down!*

# i'm stress! that's why i'm writing craps. haha *guess that i need a massage too*

see you soon! 

-the end-

how i handle my stress

it's quite stressful when at times you have to solve your problems on your own without any helps from anybody else. and it's true enough that life is getting harder and harder. there's a saying which i use to hold on for so long. life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. but today, ever since just now i felt down. some sort like a little bit of depression. few weird bad feelings were overwhelming me. intefering my goals that i wanna achieve.

so, i thought that i need to do something to relieve my stress and again i tried to sing. before this, by singing, i managed to 'shuhh shuhh' away my boredom. lol :D yet it keeps me cheerful most of the time :) this time i picked up a catchy fun song from Dream High 2. entitled B Class Life. this song is actually has something to do with my life as an ordinary girl too. why not if i sing it out, right :D happy listening :)

Dream High 2 OST : B Class Life

by : Park Jin Young

sang by : Kang So Ra, Joo Jing Woon, Kim Ji Soo, Jr.

let me tell you a little bit about this song :) they sang this song during their first 'super idol mission' in kirin art school. this song is being written and produced by Park Jin Young (JYP). the song is about aspiring singers or perhaps for those who wanna be entertainer but with less talents, who often get neglected by the others. Before the concert started, Kang So Ra gave a brief explanation about the song, where she said, "we are B class life, who wanted to become an  A class student. we are bi-jungsang (abnormal people in korean), who wanted to get to the jungsang level (the top in korean)" the lyrics is about the underdogs that have given strength and hope to a lot of viewers.

original version : 

i am a boy just a boy
sumanheun boi junge geujeo han boi
mwonga teukbyeolhan ge eopgo mueotdo 

naeseulge eomneun geureon saram

i am a girl just a girl
jinaganeun geol bwado moreuneun geol
jeonhyeo yeppeujido anko nunnatgo
pyeongbeomhagi geujieomneun saram

urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun
urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun

byeolboril eomneun boril
sseuldeeomneun sseul ttaeman gajyeotjyo
bujireomneun ttambangulman jureukjureuk heulligo itjyo
dapdaphan nae mamboda deo dapdaphaehaneun nae juwie
saramdeurae pyojeongboda nakkaji jichyeogajyo

repeat c/o

eonjenga nae ane inneun nae teukbyeolhameul chajanae
boyeojul nari isseulkkayo
aeume eolma namji anheun nae kkumeul da irki jeone
naege bichi bichul su isseulkkayo

repeat c/o

english version :

i am a boy, just a boy

only a boy among many great boys

don't have anything special

and i've got nothing for me to show at all

i am a girl, just a girl

girl passing by but not noticeable

got my eyes and nose undesirable

very ordinary girl that's me

cause we're the B B B class living

A's what we're gonna aim for

cause we're the B B B abnormal

hoping us to get at the top

just a thing that is nothing and don't have any usability

and the vain sweating just like beads keeps on rolling rolling down my face

frustrated that's my heart is

with frustrated people surrounding me

i feel tired most of the time when i see the way they look oh

repeat c/o

wondering if, if there will be a day for me to finally see 

and show what's something special in me 

before i even loose all of my dreams in my hear there's nothing left

will there be a light thats gonna be shining on me

repeat c/o

anime drawing

where to start huh :) ok! actually i wanna write about my drawing that i drew on 25th of june 2012. that time i was totally suffering of boredom. jumping here and there just to make myself tired, singing and dancing, playing with the cats, online-ing all day long but i was still relucting bored. ended up, about 10 something at night, i searched for an A4 paper and a pencil and an eraser. that moment, i was trying to start drawing (hoping that it would help me overcoming the boredom) after i haven't done it for so long. why so? i was a lil bit disappointed when my drawings were not being appreciated and causing me to force myself not to draw anything anymore. *drawing graphs for general paper and mathematics were excluded* 

so i drew and drew. started with sketching the face, the hair, the body, and thickened the line and walaa! :

of course there were flaws here and there but i was quite satisfied because at last, i managed to draw the hair part prettier than before(last year) *praising myself a lil bit, eh* lol! wait! it's not the end of the story yet. i wanna share with you something :) actually, i was not good at drawing. but there are two of my friends who inspired me a lot. 

the 1st girl : nur adilah. my classmate back in SKCTI. she is a talented artist ever since she was in primary school. trust me, i was not the only one who envied of her talent. i can still remember. her favourite anime that time was cardcaptor sakura and she kept drawing the characters from that tv programme. especially sakura kinomoto and her cousin, tomoyo daidouji. most of us including the teachers were impressed by her drawings. seriously! but she is a very humble and a down to earth little midget who never boast and brag around about her special skill :) i'm not bragging her all around, but just to share my gratitude because she has been my inspiration for years. dilah, i would like to thank you for being a nice friend and for teaching me how to draw anime stuff back in those days.

okayy proceed to my 2nd inspiration : ina ainaa. a very gifted ingenious girl i've ever known. i knew her when we were in MRSMPS 2008. her room was just opposite of my room, P326. and on the first day she entered the school, she started to paste her drawings on the wall next to her bed and by that moment, the girls were really attracted to go to her room to have a look at them. she's insane! pheww! ina, i'm glad that we are still friends till now and i would like to say thanks to you too for encouraging and inflame me to have the trust in myself and my skill of drawing. you're right. once you hold your power of imagination, you can draw anything, anything that you want. 

thank you, girls. :)

torturing thursday

good morning! :) i'll still start my day with a smile although the title up there doesn't sound that pleasant. i don't know what happened to me since last night. suddenly my whole body was aching yet it's still aching till now. i woke up and looked into the mirror. oh my. noticing that my face was quite pale and i started to put the back of my palm on my forehead and yes. fever! sigh. i don't really like it. nobody likes it, right? the worst part was that i couldn't sleep. i tried to find any medicines  that can reduce my body temperature back to the normal reading (pretending like i don't mind eating panadols. but the fact is, even if i found it, i won't eat. lol) and finally! i saw kool fever in the fridge (i don't have to eat the pills at last) i was not really sure whether it helps or not as i don't really trust those stuff. anyway, i didn't have any other choices. either to take the pills or paste it up on my forehead. i thought it is ridiculous but now i take back my words. it helps! seriously saying :D by the time i woke up just now around 7 something, i felt better. Alhamdulillah.  so, to the readers who don't feel like eating the pills if you fall sick, try to grab this kool fever yaww :)

i wish i could

i feel bad coz i had to reject this invitation. kak, i'm sorry. you should tell me earlier. hukk :( i couldn't accept firstly because i'm not in KL and to travel to JB from Perak is kinda crazy coz i'm having transportation problem. *cliche answer that you'll listen from teens that don't have their driving license yet* secondly, i'm not in my previous shape right now. aigoo! i should maintain my shape and my weight. i have to! it's crucial time, girl! you'll be entering varsity soon. fighting! haih. another opportunity that i had to let go. sad sad so sad -__-

@#%&

as usual, when i sign in my Tagged acc, i'll surely check the friend requests link and i'll approve one by one. depends on me who will i approve and who i will not. seems like less number of girls sent me requests, so i'll simply accept theirs :) but! maybe next time i should check out their profile before i approve'em coz ended up i received such a humiliating message just now:

girl, i'm not trying to put you down in another word to abash you. humiliate you. no i'm not. it's not even your picture and your name. i know. but just giving you or anyone reading this entry a piece of advice. life is always hard. me myself is facing challenges but seriously, selling your body and being proud you're good at it is ridculous. foolish action. i know you might have financial problems. but it's ok to work a lil bit hard rather than selling your pride and dignity. i know i'm not good enough to say this kind of stuff but as a girl, it's shameful.

*really hope that i won't receive this kind of message anymore in future. making me shocked sehh. hoho.

defeated

Germany! yeayyy!! hoping that by screeching this out, by any chance it could flame out their spirit to keep giving their best for the team and their country. but eventually, being defeated by Italy this morning. OMG! i cried when Bonatelli *idk how to spell his name*  stroke the 2nd goal for Italy. it was unexpectable at all because i've watched how Germany played in previous games and they're really fascinating. awesome-ly great football players. but this is their fate. perhaps.

little bit balking with their match just now but its ok :) they've done their best i know them! Germany! ich werde dich biz zum ende zu unterstutzen! and to Italy, come on. don't have to feel that proud with the goals you've scored. you so gonna be screwed by Spain soon! haha. and now, i'm giving full support to Spain! beat them up, Spain! and win the trophy for the second time! woot woot! ;D *it is because Italy has kicked out Germany and i want the Italianos to feel the disappointment. lol *jahatnye saye

victory! victory! victory for Spain ;D

S D F

tonight. like usual, i don't feel like sleeping. maybe because i've drank cups of coffee just now. lol :) hurm, i need to scribble this out. i've been keeping it inside and it's hurting. in a good way. haha. ok its not funny i know but just that i feel like laughing. blablabla ~

how i wish i was alone tonight so that i could shout this "I MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU KNOW?!" haish. i might sound silly because i'm missing these three gents a lot. who are these guys to me? why am i missing them? worthy huh missing them? they are special :) their presence in my life has brighten me up. and it's worth it to miss them :) they are like brothers. my bff. although we just know each other for few months, but this head and heart of mine can't put them away. you know, a good friendship is not being counted by how long you've been friends. but how much you treasure it and how much you appreciate your friends :D

seriously each and every minutes of my life, i keep thinking about them. how are they doing.. what they are up to recently.. do they miss me the way i am.. these tiny dimunitve stuff keep playing in my mind, yeaa maybe because i'm now far away from them *not that far actually* makes me think so hard about our friendship. maybe i myself will put the blame on me coz i didnt text them. but i'm afraid if they didn't reply and i might feel upset. it is not that i'm afraid of sadness but for now, that anguish, gloomy bleakness has overwhelmed me more than it supposed to and yes i'm tired of it. *i'm so sorry for not giving a call or send you sms coz i didn't topup my credit yet. hee :D

so, no matter what gonna happen next, i just wanna make it clear here, i'll cry whenever your faces and moments with you come across my mind. you might laugh if you read this entry but this is what i feel. really hope to meet you guys once i'm back in KL and i wish we can spend lotsa times together. i wish that i have sweet voice so that i can sing out what i feel. so that i can sing for you. but sadly, my voice is worse than the toads. lol. ok i'll stop here. too much craps. haha. nitey nite ~

*i miss you and i love you :)

education

when i started thinking about why education is so important, i remembered my school years, the grounding years of anyone's education. i went down memory lane to remember all my teachers, the subjects, the study and the play! i never really hate school actually. but i have seen many who hate gonig to school. i have had some friends who did not like the idea of studying in classrooms. many of you must have unwillingly entered your school gates. but all of us know this dislike never lasts long. we soon start loving school and it is all about laying the foundation of our education. it is a place to understand why education is vital and how vital it is! it is an instituition, where we learn to read and write. school transforms kids into literate individuals. it is where we get our basics cleared and at the point of leaving school, we are all set to soar high in life, enter the new world in pursuiting of our dreams.

the first thing that strikes me about education is knowledge gain. education gives us the knowledge of the world around us. it develop us a perspective of looking at life. it helps us build opinions and have points of view on everything in life. people debate over the subject of whether education is the only thing that gives knowledge. some say, education is the process of gaining informations about the surrounding world while knowledge is something totally different. they are partly right. but the conversion of information to knowledge is possible because of education. education makes us capable of interpreting rightly the things tht perceived. education is not about lessons and poems in textbooks. it is about the lessons of life. a self-enlightening process. it is indeed a self-evident which enables us to put our potentials to optimal use. without education, the training of the human minds is incomplete. no individual is a human being in working world until he has been educated in the proper sense. now i am not saying that we are not a human being without education. the mind is made to be trained and without education, we are not complete in that sense.

education makes us a right thinker and a correct decision maker. it achieves this by bringing our knowledge from the external world, teaching is to reason, and acquanting us with past history, so that we may be a better judge of the present. am i right? without education, us as it was being shut up in a windowless room. while wiyh education we could find ourselves in a room with all its windows open to the outside world. i bet, you will manage to imagine about what am i trying to convey here, readers. the words 'cultivate' and 'civilize' are almost synonymous to the word 'educate'. that says it! agree? 'yes' would be the answer for it. education is important as it teaches us the right behaviours, the good manners thus making us civilized. it teache us how to lead our lives as it is the basis of culture and civilization. education is the instrumental in the development of our values and virtues. it cultivates us into mature individuals that are capable of planning for our futures and taking the right decisions. it arms us with an insight to look at our lives and learn from every experiences.

the future of a nation is safe in the hands of educated individuals. it is vital for the economic growth too. it fosters principles of equality and socialism and also forms a support system for talents to excell in life. education, the backbone of society is also equiping us with all that is needed to make our dreams come true. it opens doors of brilliant career opportunities, fetching better prospects in career and growth. every employer of today requires his prospective employees to be well educated. requirement? expertise (: hence, education becomes an enlightly criterion for employment into any sector of the industries. we are rewarded for exercising the expertise required for the field we venture. we are weighed in the market on the basis of our educational skills and how well we can apply them. the more educated we are, the more knowledge we obtain eventually.

education is essential as it paves the paths leading to disillusionment. it wipes out all the wrong beliefs in our minds. it helps creating a clear vision of everything around us and we no more remain in confusion about the things we learn. education brings up questions and also devises way to satisfactory answers to them and also about knowing that everything has a science to it, about learning to reason everything till every questions meet their answers. ecuation can lead us to enlightment as it builds confidence to take decisions, to face life, and to accept successes and failures. it instills a sense of pride about the knowledge we have and prepare us for life. i do agree school and colleges define the basic framework of educare, which defines education in latin (written here just for your general knowledge). schooling gives us the fundamentals whereas we specialize in fields of our interest during the degree courses. but education does not end here as it is a lifelong process where self-learning begins at the point that marks the end of instituitional education. the process of self-learning continues then.

an important factor in education, read good books. read them with opposing viewpoints before making the commitments. a passion filled life, one where you enhance your knowledge by delving deeper into what is most important to you, is endorsed by many and sought by few. if we want an educational goal, we have to dedicate ourselves to understand all sides of issues which helps in increasing our abilities for discerning truth. education with qualities respond to a desire of you to learn. instead we have power brokers deciding what we need to know and believe to be useful for the authorities. no one, government or private will give us an education worth having. a valuable education is something we have to give ourselves. as what a saying says, ''we shall not grow wiser before we learn that much that we have done was very foolish''. it is actually differs with our toughts. we as students, have to ignore repetitious bombast, seek our convincing counter arguments, then, through synthesis born of contradictory views, we make up our mind until we can wisely decide to change our mind again. one suggestion here, open your eyes and observe even as your ears are assaulted.

last but not least, pry open your mind, do not let education rust it shut. learn to think, not to follow. combine your learning with action, letting unavoidable errors impel you to seek greater understanding. we need freedom of expression like the kite we seek to soar which is rising against the wind, not with it.

L.O.V.E

no one can ever replace him. he's the best grandfather among the best! he's my dad, he's my grandpa and he's everything to me! he's my love, he's my soul. *perfect man*. we all love you so much! muackx! (^^,)

He isn't much in the eyes of the world

He'll never make history

No, he isn't much in the eyes of the world

But he is the world to me