new update! new update!

assalamualaikum :)

only now i feel like writing again. haha. it was a stressful day i guess. and that made me feel like onlining and write and scribble and scribble and write ^^,well, i've been working at a new place. new job! -quite-a-stressing-job to say so. *at times. but seriously, i'm facing loads of problems and the job is really challenging*. duhh. -__- i'm telling you this so that you can stop having the thinking conception that a front desk job is so a-tiny-miny lame job! grr. haha *at least i'm no longer a promoter* yipee! *up sikit* haha. i know. to compare my job right now with my friends, classmates, schoolmates is way too berbeza. haha. *rojak sikit eh*. who i am compare to them all :) it's ok. i take it positively and i know i'll make my dream comes true one day. maybe.. next year? amin :D 

so yeah! byebye kitschen, hello thai odyssey! :) so, peeps! come over to this massage spa yaww! i'll be there to serve you *not as a masseur/massage lady but as a frontdesk ok* i guarantee you will have the satisfaction as in your body will be more energized and relax-no-stress :D i'm at the sunway giza mall outlet in kota damansara *don't forget to drop down!*

# i'm stress! that's why i'm writing craps. haha *guess that i need a massage too*

see you soon! 

-the end-

how i handle my stress

it's quite stressful when at times you have to solve your problems on your own without any helps from anybody else. and it's true enough that life is getting harder and harder. there's a saying which i use to hold on for so long. life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. but today, ever since just now i felt down. some sort like a little bit of depression. few weird bad feelings were overwhelming me. intefering my goals that i wanna achieve.

so, i thought that i need to do something to relieve my stress and again i tried to sing. before this, by singing, i managed to 'shuhh shuhh' away my boredom. lol :D yet it keeps me cheerful most of the time :) this time i picked up a catchy fun song from Dream High 2. entitled B Class Life. this song is actually has something to do with my life as an ordinary girl too. why not if i sing it out, right :D happy listening :)

Dream High 2 OST : B Class Life

by : Park Jin Young

sang by : Kang So Ra, Joo Jing Woon, Kim Ji Soo, Jr.

let me tell you a little bit about this song :) they sang this song during their first 'super idol mission' in kirin art school. this song is being written and produced by Park Jin Young (JYP). the song is about aspiring singers or perhaps for those who wanna be entertainer but with less talents, who often get neglected by the others. Before the concert started, Kang So Ra gave a brief explanation about the song, where she said, "we are B class life, who wanted to become an  A class student. we are bi-jungsang (abnormal people in korean), who wanted to get to the jungsang level (the top in korean)" the lyrics is about the underdogs that have given strength and hope to a lot of viewers.

original version : 

i am a boy just a boy
sumanheun boi junge geujeo han boi
mwonga teukbyeolhan ge eopgo mueotdo 

naeseulge eomneun geureon saram

i am a girl just a girl
jinaganeun geol bwado moreuneun geol
jeonhyeo yeppeujido anko nunnatgo
pyeongbeomhagi geujieomneun saram

urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun
urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun

byeolboril eomneun boril
sseuldeeomneun sseul ttaeman gajyeotjyo
bujireomneun ttambangulman jureukjureuk heulligo itjyo
dapdaphan nae mamboda deo dapdaphaehaneun nae juwie
saramdeurae pyojeongboda nakkaji jichyeogajyo

repeat c/o

eonjenga nae ane inneun nae teukbyeolhameul chajanae
boyeojul nari isseulkkayo
aeume eolma namji anheun nae kkumeul da irki jeone
naege bichi bichul su isseulkkayo

repeat c/o

english version :

i am a boy, just a boy

only a boy among many great boys

don't have anything special

and i've got nothing for me to show at all

i am a girl, just a girl

girl passing by but not noticeable

got my eyes and nose undesirable

very ordinary girl that's me

cause we're the B B B class living

A's what we're gonna aim for

cause we're the B B B abnormal

hoping us to get at the top

just a thing that is nothing and don't have any usability

and the vain sweating just like beads keeps on rolling rolling down my face

frustrated that's my heart is

with frustrated people surrounding me

i feel tired most of the time when i see the way they look oh

repeat c/o

wondering if, if there will be a day for me to finally see 

and show what's something special in me 

before i even loose all of my dreams in my hear there's nothing left

will there be a light thats gonna be shining on me

repeat c/o

anime drawing

where to start huh :) ok! actually i wanna write about my drawing that i drew on 25th of june 2012. that time i was totally suffering of boredom. jumping here and there just to make myself tired, singing and dancing, playing with the cats, online-ing all day long but i was still relucting bored. ended up, about 10 something at night, i searched for an A4 paper and a pencil and an eraser. that moment, i was trying to start drawing (hoping that it would help me overcoming the boredom) after i haven't done it for so long. why so? i was a lil bit disappointed when my drawings were not being appreciated and causing me to force myself not to draw anything anymore. *drawing graphs for general paper and mathematics were excluded* 

so i drew and drew. started with sketching the face, the hair, the body, and thickened the line and walaa! :

of course there were flaws here and there but i was quite satisfied because at last, i managed to draw the hair part prettier than before(last year) *praising myself a lil bit, eh* lol! wait! it's not the end of the story yet. i wanna share with you something :) actually, i was not good at drawing. but there are two of my friends who inspired me a lot. 

the 1st girl : nur adilah. my classmate back in SKCTI. she is a talented artist ever since she was in primary school. trust me, i was not the only one who envied of her talent. i can still remember. her favourite anime that time was cardcaptor sakura and she kept drawing the characters from that tv programme. especially sakura kinomoto and her cousin, tomoyo daidouji. most of us including the teachers were impressed by her drawings. seriously! but she is a very humble and a down to earth little midget who never boast and brag around about her special skill :) i'm not bragging her all around, but just to share my gratitude because she has been my inspiration for years. dilah, i would like to thank you for being a nice friend and for teaching me how to draw anime stuff back in those days.

okayy proceed to my 2nd inspiration : ina ainaa. a very gifted ingenious girl i've ever known. i knew her when we were in MRSMPS 2008. her room was just opposite of my room, P326. and on the first day she entered the school, she started to paste her drawings on the wall next to her bed and by that moment, the girls were really attracted to go to her room to have a look at them. she's insane! pheww! ina, i'm glad that we are still friends till now and i would like to say thanks to you too for encouraging and inflame me to have the trust in myself and my skill of drawing. you're right. once you hold your power of imagination, you can draw anything, anything that you want. 

thank you, girls. :)

torturing thursday

good morning! :) i'll still start my day with a smile although the title up there doesn't sound that pleasant. i don't know what happened to me since last night. suddenly my whole body was aching yet it's still aching till now. i woke up and looked into the mirror. oh my. noticing that my face was quite pale and i started to put the back of my palm on my forehead and yes. fever! sigh. i don't really like it. nobody likes it, right? the worst part was that i couldn't sleep. i tried to find any medicines  that can reduce my body temperature back to the normal reading (pretending like i don't mind eating panadols. but the fact is, even if i found it, i won't eat. lol) and finally! i saw kool fever in the fridge (i don't have to eat the pills at last) i was not really sure whether it helps or not as i don't really trust those stuff. anyway, i didn't have any other choices. either to take the pills or paste it up on my forehead. i thought it is ridiculous but now i take back my words. it helps! seriously saying :D by the time i woke up just now around 7 something, i felt better. Alhamdulillah.  so, to the readers who don't feel like eating the pills if you fall sick, try to grab this kool fever yaww :)

i wish i could

i feel bad coz i had to reject this invitation. kak, i'm sorry. you should tell me earlier. hukk :( i couldn't accept firstly because i'm not in KL and to travel to JB from Perak is kinda crazy coz i'm having transportation problem. *cliche answer that you'll listen from teens that don't have their driving license yet* secondly, i'm not in my previous shape right now. aigoo! i should maintain my shape and my weight. i have to! it's crucial time, girl! you'll be entering varsity soon. fighting! haih. another opportunity that i had to let go. sad sad so sad -__-

@#%&

as usual, when i sign in my Tagged acc, i'll surely check the friend requests link and i'll approve one by one. depends on me who will i approve and who i will not. seems like less number of girls sent me requests, so i'll simply accept theirs :) but! maybe next time i should check out their profile before i approve'em coz ended up i received such a humiliating message just now:

girl, i'm not trying to put you down in another word to abash you. humiliate you. no i'm not. it's not even your picture and your name. i know. but just giving you or anyone reading this entry a piece of advice. life is always hard. me myself is facing challenges but seriously, selling your body and being proud you're good at it is ridculous. foolish action. i know you might have financial problems. but it's ok to work a lil bit hard rather than selling your pride and dignity. i know i'm not good enough to say this kind of stuff but as a girl, it's shameful.

*really hope that i won't receive this kind of message anymore in future. making me shocked sehh. hoho.

defeated

Germany! yeayyy!! hoping that by screeching this out, by any chance it could flame out their spirit to keep giving their best for the team and their country. but eventually, being defeated by Italy this morning. OMG! i cried when Bonatelli *idk how to spell his name*  stroke the 2nd goal for Italy. it was unexpectable at all because i've watched how Germany played in previous games and they're really fascinating. awesome-ly great football players. but this is their fate. perhaps.

little bit balking with their match just now but its ok :) they've done their best i know them! Germany! ich werde dich biz zum ende zu unterstutzen! and to Italy, come on. don't have to feel that proud with the goals you've scored. you so gonna be screwed by Spain soon! haha. and now, i'm giving full support to Spain! beat them up, Spain! and win the trophy for the second time! woot woot! ;D *it is because Italy has kicked out Germany and i want the Italianos to feel the disappointment. lol *jahatnye saye

victory! victory! victory for Spain ;D

S D F

tonight. like usual, i don't feel like sleeping. maybe because i've drank cups of coffee just now. lol :) hurm, i need to scribble this out. i've been keeping it inside and it's hurting. in a good way. haha. ok its not funny i know but just that i feel like laughing. blablabla ~

how i wish i was alone tonight so that i could shout this "I MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU KNOW?!" haish. i might sound silly because i'm missing these three gents a lot. who are these guys to me? why am i missing them? worthy huh missing them? they are special :) their presence in my life has brighten me up. and it's worth it to miss them :) they are like brothers. my bff. although we just know each other for few months, but this head and heart of mine can't put them away. you know, a good friendship is not being counted by how long you've been friends. but how much you treasure it and how much you appreciate your friends :D

seriously each and every minutes of my life, i keep thinking about them. how are they doing.. what they are up to recently.. do they miss me the way i am.. these tiny dimunitve stuff keep playing in my mind, yeaa maybe because i'm now far away from them *not that far actually* makes me think so hard about our friendship. maybe i myself will put the blame on me coz i didnt text them. but i'm afraid if they didn't reply and i might feel upset. it is not that i'm afraid of sadness but for now, that anguish, gloomy bleakness has overwhelmed me more than it supposed to and yes i'm tired of it. *i'm so sorry for not giving a call or send you sms coz i didn't topup my credit yet. hee :D

so, no matter what gonna happen next, i just wanna make it clear here, i'll cry whenever your faces and moments with you come across my mind. you might laugh if you read this entry but this is what i feel. really hope to meet you guys once i'm back in KL and i wish we can spend lotsa times together. i wish that i have sweet voice so that i can sing out what i feel. so that i can sing for you. but sadly, my voice is worse than the toads. lol. ok i'll stop here. too much craps. haha. nitey nite ~

*i miss you and i love you :)