how i handle my stress

it's quite stressful when at times you have to solve your problems on your own without any helps from anybody else. and it's true enough that life is getting harder and harder. there's a saying which i use to hold on for so long. life doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. but today, ever since just now i felt down. some sort like a little bit of depression. few weird bad feelings were overwhelming me. intefering my goals that i wanna achieve.

so, i thought that i need to do something to relieve my stress and again i tried to sing. before this, by singing, i managed to 'shuhh shuhh' away my boredom. lol :D yet it keeps me cheerful most of the time :) this time i picked up a catchy fun song from Dream High 2. entitled B Class Life. this song is actually has something to do with my life as an ordinary girl too. why not if i sing it out, right :D happy listening :)

Dream High 2 OST : B Class Life

by : Park Jin Young

sang by : Kang So Ra, Joo Jing Woon, Kim Ji Soo, Jr.

let me tell you a little bit about this song :) they sang this song during their first 'super idol mission' in kirin art school. this song is being written and produced by Park Jin Young (JYP). the song is about aspiring singers or perhaps for those who wanna be entertainer but with less talents, who often get neglected by the others. Before the concert started, Kang So Ra gave a brief explanation about the song, where she said, "we are B class life, who wanted to become an  A class student. we are bi-jungsang (abnormal people in korean), who wanted to get to the jungsang level (the top in korean)" the lyrics is about the underdogs that have given strength and hope to a lot of viewers.

original version : 

i am a boy just a boy
sumanheun boi junge geujeo han boi
mwonga teukbyeolhan ge eopgo mueotdo 

naeseulge eomneun geureon saram

i am a girl just a girl
jinaganeun geol bwado moreuneun geol
jeonhyeo yeppeujido anko nunnatgo
pyeongbeomhagi geujieomneun saram

urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun
urineun 'B' 'B' 'B' geup insaeng 'A' geubi doego sipeun
urineun bibi bijeongsangdeul jeongsange seogo sipeun

byeolboril eomneun boril
sseuldeeomneun sseul ttaeman gajyeotjyo
bujireomneun ttambangulman jureukjureuk heulligo itjyo
dapdaphan nae mamboda deo dapdaphaehaneun nae juwie
saramdeurae pyojeongboda nakkaji jichyeogajyo

repeat c/o

eonjenga nae ane inneun nae teukbyeolhameul chajanae
boyeojul nari isseulkkayo
aeume eolma namji anheun nae kkumeul da irki jeone
naege bichi bichul su isseulkkayo

repeat c/o

english version :

i am a boy, just a boy

only a boy among many great boys

don't have anything special

and i've got nothing for me to show at all

i am a girl, just a girl

girl passing by but not noticeable

got my eyes and nose undesirable

very ordinary girl that's me

cause we're the B B B class living

A's what we're gonna aim for

cause we're the B B B abnormal

hoping us to get at the top

just a thing that is nothing and don't have any usability

and the vain sweating just like beads keeps on rolling rolling down my face

frustrated that's my heart is

with frustrated people surrounding me

i feel tired most of the time when i see the way they look oh

repeat c/o

wondering if, if there will be a day for me to finally see 

and show what's something special in me 

before i even loose all of my dreams in my hear there's nothing left

will there be a light thats gonna be shining on me

repeat c/o

anime drawing

where to start huh :) ok! actually i wanna write about my drawing that i drew on 25th of june 2012. that time i was totally suffering of boredom. jumping here and there just to make myself tired, singing and dancing, playing with the cats, online-ing all day long but i was still relucting bored. ended up, about 10 something at night, i searched for an A4 paper and a pencil and an eraser. that moment, i was trying to start drawing (hoping that it would help me overcoming the boredom) after i haven't done it for so long. why so? i was a lil bit disappointed when my drawings were not being appreciated and causing me to force myself not to draw anything anymore. *drawing graphs for general paper and mathematics were excluded* 

so i drew and drew. started with sketching the face, the hair, the body, and thickened the line and walaa! :

of course there were flaws here and there but i was quite satisfied because at last, i managed to draw the hair part prettier than before(last year) *praising myself a lil bit, eh* lol! wait! it's not the end of the story yet. i wanna share with you something :) actually, i was not good at drawing. but there are two of my friends who inspired me a lot. 

the 1st girl : nur adilah. my classmate back in SKCTI. she is a talented artist ever since she was in primary school. trust me, i was not the only one who envied of her talent. i can still remember. her favourite anime that time was cardcaptor sakura and she kept drawing the characters from that tv programme. especially sakura kinomoto and her cousin, tomoyo daidouji. most of us including the teachers were impressed by her drawings. seriously! but she is a very humble and a down to earth little midget who never boast and brag around about her special skill :) i'm not bragging her all around, but just to share my gratitude because she has been my inspiration for years. dilah, i would like to thank you for being a nice friend and for teaching me how to draw anime stuff back in those days.

okayy proceed to my 2nd inspiration : ina ainaa. a very gifted ingenious girl i've ever known. i knew her when we were in MRSMPS 2008. her room was just opposite of my room, P326. and on the first day she entered the school, she started to paste her drawings on the wall next to her bed and by that moment, the girls were really attracted to go to her room to have a look at them. she's insane! pheww! ina, i'm glad that we are still friends till now and i would like to say thanks to you too for encouraging and inflame me to have the trust in myself and my skill of drawing. you're right. once you hold your power of imagination, you can draw anything, anything that you want. 

thank you, girls. :)

torturing thursday

good morning! :) i'll still start my day with a smile although the title up there doesn't sound that pleasant. i don't know what happened to me since last night. suddenly my whole body was aching yet it's still aching till now. i woke up and looked into the mirror. oh my. noticing that my face was quite pale and i started to put the back of my palm on my forehead and yes. fever! sigh. i don't really like it. nobody likes it, right? the worst part was that i couldn't sleep. i tried to find any medicines  that can reduce my body temperature back to the normal reading (pretending like i don't mind eating panadols. but the fact is, even if i found it, i won't eat. lol) and finally! i saw kool fever in the fridge (i don't have to eat the pills at last) i was not really sure whether it helps or not as i don't really trust those stuff. anyway, i didn't have any other choices. either to take the pills or paste it up on my forehead. i thought it is ridiculous but now i take back my words. it helps! seriously saying :D by the time i woke up just now around 7 something, i felt better. Alhamdulillah.  so, to the readers who don't feel like eating the pills if you fall sick, try to grab this kool fever yaww :)

i wish i could

i feel bad coz i had to reject this invitation. kak, i'm sorry. you should tell me earlier. hukk :( i couldn't accept firstly because i'm not in KL and to travel to JB from Perak is kinda crazy coz i'm having transportation problem. *cliche answer that you'll listen from teens that don't have their driving license yet* secondly, i'm not in my previous shape right now. aigoo! i should maintain my shape and my weight. i have to! it's crucial time, girl! you'll be entering varsity soon. fighting! haih. another opportunity that i had to let go. sad sad so sad -__-